My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
