Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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