I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
