I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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