So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
