Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
In America we eat man semen.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
