whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
