How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The struggles of a small town man whore
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
