are you still at the devil's house?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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