i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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