i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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