I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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