Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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