it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
