Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
