My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
