there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
