youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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