hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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