Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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