wrigley field is MILF paradise
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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