I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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