Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize