Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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