Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
