ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
