Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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