i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
