1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We are two peas in an std pod
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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