bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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