I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
