Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
