in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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