never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i can't believe i had my finger in that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
