tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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