Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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