One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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