Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
