I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
barbara walters just said penis...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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