I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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