how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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