that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
