I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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