just come out here and I will go home with you...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
