no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize