So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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