Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
