Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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