i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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