In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
