its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
