She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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