Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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