whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
