paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
