Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
