Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
