If that was your dad, he is hot
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
