it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
