No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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