she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
