oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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