he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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