And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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