So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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